I honestly think my muse died. I just… have nothing to say lately, and I don’t know why. I always think that I have something I really want to talk about, but then when I open up my notebook or open the “New Post” page on WordPress, the words just… die. I lose them as soon as they come up in my brain. Either that, or I get distracted. I don’t know what’s up with my sudden lack of blog posts. A year ago, I used to blog every other day, now I’m lucky if I can manage every couple weeks. It sucks. But… apparently, one of the best things you can do when you can’t write is just… write about how you can’t write. I don’t know if that’s true, but eh… I’m up to try whatever.
I was watching SpongeBob this morning, and I just… found myself envying how he gets excited about… well, almost everything. It seems a little stupid, envying a cartoon character, let alone SpongeBob, but I really wish I could get that excited about things. Get excited about Life, in general, I think. I try to get myself psyched up for things, but at the moment… all I really do is work and sleep. Work and sleep, work and sleep… occasionally I’ll do something that I can get happy about, like getting a tattoo or seeing a new movie, but I can’t do things like that as much as I’d like.
This apathy is killing me. I don’t want to go and blame the humdrum weather, but who knows? Maybe that’s what it is. I think I’m going to start working out again and taking walks. Now that the gears of spring are starting to move, it will be warm enough that I can actually go out without layers upon layers of clothing. It’s hard to walk or jog comfortably when you’re weighed down by bulky sweaters. I’ll need to dust off the sunscreen, too. Maybe I can convince Tamara to come with me.
Lately, I’ve been listening to a lot of death rap, or “horrorcore.” Specifically, Razakel and SickTanicK. The lyrics are… a bit repulsive by normal standards, but I really just can’t get enough. I’m going to be ordering some CDs as soon as I get a chance. So if you’re into this kind of music… check it out. It’s certainly not for the weak stomached.
Nothin but a slump, hun. You’ll get past it. I really think the sunshine WILL help, & even just getting more fresh air. We’ve been going for family walks & I know they make me feel really good.
Thank you so much for your comment – I really needed it.
xo
I agree with you about Spongebob. I get a little envious of him as well.
My glass is always half-full. That’s just how I am. Some days, I wish I could be so positive and optimistic about things, no matter what kind of shit hits the fan.. and still be able to be excited about stuff, after it’s all over.
I’m the same lately… I can never think of anything to write about. And even when I do I always have trouble putting it into words… my mind goes blank and I never know where to start!
And, haha, Spongebob is a bit over-excited!