I spent my vacation mostly just lazing around. I was rather disappointed in myself, considering all of the goals I set out for myself this past week. I didn’t even accomplish one. Which makes me inwardly reflect and I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m just… horrible with goals and “to-do” lists and tasks outside of work. Once work is over, it’s like that part of my brain shuts down and commands me to DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING until it’s time to return to work. I hate it. I really, really hate it because I’ve always prided myself on being task oriented and being someone who could just bust out and get things done. It seems that I’m not like that anymore. I’m going to try to be… I just wish I had something that would really motivate me.

I found out last night that I’m getting my inheritance next week. I was kind of confused as to why… I was under the impression that you only receive inheritance when someone has passed on, but apparently not. As sad as taking this money makes me, I’m extremely grateful. I can’t help but feel that this is the cosmos’ way of giving me a gentle boot to the ass to take care of and get my business in order. I’m going to be able to pay off several of my debts, get new glasses and invest in a gym membership. Which… is a huge breath of fresh air. A lifted weight.

David and I might be moving again. -_- This time, right out of town, into the boonies. I’m not really thrilled about it, considering it would take me out of my comfort zone completely… I really don’t want to do it. I hate moving. I always promised myself that if David and I did ever move again, it would be into our own roommate free house. I don’t want to say ‘no’ until I’ve actually seen the house… but my guts are telling me that this isn’t the time. Especially to out there. I moved into town to get away from the isolation… I’m not ready to move back into it.

So I’m late getting to bed, so I’ll wrap this up by leaving you with some brain food:

Work has been getting better. I just… decided one night that I wasn’t going to let people and their stupid shit get to me anymore. Once I came to that decision, my productivity has gone up and I feel better. Hope has been trying to drag me into things, but I’ve just kind of let it go in one ear and out the other. Of course, work related issues I still go to Mike or Brandon with. Brandon seems to be most receptive and he’s good for either dealing with it right away or relaying it to Mike. I can honestly say that for the first time in… well, forever, I’m content at work. Of course, that being said, I’ve probably jinxed myself and shit will hit the fan. LOL.

I’m hoping to get some work done on the site in the next couple days… I know I always say that, but I always get distracted and this time, I’m going to keep those distractions to a minimum if possible. I’m going to have the house to myself, and I’ll make sure to be loaded up with goodies and SKR and just git-r-done. I’m excited. In the meantime, though, I did change the featured video in the goodies section. I’ve been meaning to do that for a while.

Off to get ready for work.

Things have been going well lately. Work has been as hectic as ever, thanks to the management switching over, half the crew not showing up to work and the freight issues we’re having. Thankfully, I’ve been able to relax my sore muscles the last couple of days and actually take a moment to breathe. I was feeling energetic this morning, so David and I went shopping. We ended up popping into the Magic card store (he bought some new duel decks for himself), the book store (I bought volumes four, five and six of Death Note by Tsugumi Ohba, Witchling by Yasmine Galenorn and the new issue of Tattoos for Women) and the Hobbit House (I bought Cunningham’s Book of Shadows by Scott Cunningham). After that, we headed to Trattoria’s for lunch, which is a cute little pasta shop a couple blocks from our house. I’m officially addicted to their citrus Italian soda. So good! After lunch, we stopped by Field’s, and I bought these cute little black capri pants with zippers on the sides, a black and red top, and a new black and purple bra. A lot of their clothes were on clearance, so it was a pretty good deal. Bargains = awesome.

It was really nice for David and I to spend the day together. We never really get to, because of our conflicted schedules. Not to mention, we’ve been having a rough time because of the infidelity incident before my birthday. I’m still having a hard time with trust, and believing he is where he says he is (when he told me the other night that he’d gone to Kyle’s and Alexis was there – my eyes just narrowed and I became hostile), but today it felt like old times. It’s was really nice, and I hope as things slowly get better, we’ll have more moments like the ones we had today. Of course it will never be like it was, but I’m hoping we can get close.

I get to start my new birth control on Sunday. I’m not very excited about this. The YAZ completely messed with my system, and aggravated my depression something fierce, so here’s to hoping that this is the last one I have to try and the disasters of before won’t happen again. I hate having a fickle body and fickle organ systems… it made it difficult for antidepressants and now it’s being difficult for birth control. Pain in my ass.

Well, I’m going to wrap this up for now. I think I’m going to take a bit of a break and watch Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs before getting back to work on the site.

The good thing is that Aaron assured Randy and I that steps are being taken by management to make the changes necessary to get our crew functioning the way it’s supposed to be. Talking to Aaron… I got the feeling that they’re going to go over Jason’s head to do this and that they might even remove him as the night manager. It was kind of like… he said it without saying it. He said to not make any rash decisions, and to be patient because change was on the way. He also told me that the crew couldn’t survive without Randy and I, which… literally made me glow for the majority of the night.

Things at home have been kind of a downer. My poor little Elizabeth Bathory miscarried her kittens. I’ve been very upset about the loss… especially since I actually felt them kick inside of her belly. She has been very depressed since the incident as well, and I’ve been trying to comfort her and make sure she’s warm and cuddled. David was the one who ended up finding her with the kittens, and in a way… I’m glad it was him and not me, because I don’t think I could have handled that. He loves the cats, but to him, they’re just cats. To me, they’re my best friends.. my children, even. Those babies had all of my love from the moment I found out about them. Even if I never knew them, they were my friends. Once I can get my income tax, I’m going to take her up to the vet and get checked out and spayed. I don’t want her to ever have to go through that loss ever again. The other cats have been very supportive of her, keeping her company and whatnot. I was surprised at that, because Miss Bathory and the other cats don’t usually get along.

It’s so nice to have three days off… I should have the new layout up here later on (if I don’t fall asleep), and then I’m going to work on some of my projects. I’ve been trying to think of new things to add, but I’m coming up dry. Hopefully a little bit of relaxation time wets the muse.

I’m so rested now… it feels really good. Unfortunately I have to go back to work tonight. I’ve really been hating my job lately, seeing as how my boss has been taking his frustrations out on us and being a huge asshole. He actually came into the lunch room during break a couple of days ago, and told us all that our “work ethic was bullshit” and we were all a bunch of lazy, good-for-nothing slackers. Yeah, as if that would galvanize me to try and work harder? Yeah right. I was so angry I almost walked out. I was like… frothing at the mouth angry. It’s only thing to be rude, but it’s a completely different thing to paint us all with the same brush. If it doesn’t get better now that the holiday rush is over… I will be transferring to day shift, and that will be the end of that.

Thank you to everyone who commented on the new layout – I really appreciate it. I’m actually really proud of this one, because I actually did this one with little to no help. All the problems, I actually figured them out myself. Which I am taking as a good sign that my coding abilities, and my understanding of WordPress, are getting better. To all who were wondering, the group of men featured in this layout is the Polish black metal band Behemoth, who I have taken quite a shine too. The photo is from their photoshoot for their newest album, Evangelion, and the lyrics are from that album’s first single, “Ov Fire And The Void.” If you have a moment, you should really look that song up… the music video is amazing.

I was glancing at my schedule for next week, and it looks like I am not scheduled to work on Monday, along with my usual two days. I’m really happy about this, because it will give me a chance to catch up on my housework, as well as ample time to get some work done on this site. My goal is to have my poetry site up (at least the main page), both my Filth clique and my Black Bird fanlisting re-done with new layouts and content (and I need to get some affiliation for those to spread the word) and some of the content up for the content section of this site. Excited? Very much so. I think I finally have some of my creative juices back.

“Meet Me On The Equinox” by Death Cab For Cutie -the theme song for the New Moon movie. I’m kind of iffy about it. It’s growing on me every time I listen to it, but I don’t think it can compare to Paramore’s “Decode.” I don’t know. Time will tell.

So, I’ve decided that I’m going to stick with WordPress. I was fiddling with the code on the template I had made previously, the one that was supposed to go up instead of this one… and by removing one line of code, it actually started to look like I wanted it to. So I’m going to fiddle with it some more… see if I can get it presentable enough to put up. As far as projects go… the Black Bird fanlisting is done and open. If you’re a fan of the series, please join. I would really appreciate it. There’s still a lot to be done on it, but the basic skeleton is there. I’ll add the meaty bits later on.

So, I start work tonight at midnight. I’m extremely apprehensive. I had my orientation yesterday, and it went surprisingly well. I have to remember to review my associate handbook and get all of my payroll and whatnot filled out before I get picked up tonight. Not to mention my bus fare for getting home. I’m not sure when the bus comes… if I can’t find my schedule I’ll just walk home. It’s a long walk, but I could use the exercise. Knowing my luck, I’d be sitting and waiting at the bus stop for a bajillion hours, like when I worked at Zellers. I’m pretty confident that everything is going to go smoothly… my managers are wonderful and they don’t make me nervous. Usually my bosses make me nervous, but not this time around. Which I’m taking to be a good sign.

My face is still really swollen from my piercing. I think when Sarah gets up to go to school, I’m going to sneak out and watch Cold Case Files with an ice pack on my face. Ugh.

So, I’ve decided that Monday is going to be the day that I kick start my weight loss plans. I figured that Monday would be a good starting day, considering it’s the day after Thanksgiving, so there will be a lot of calories to walk off. When I go to Mum’s for dinner on Sunday, I have to remember to grab my gloves and toque from my old bedroom. Need to be nice and toasty for walks, considering autumn is in full swing here and we’re already experiencing late November temperatures. I figure a work out DVD in the morning, plus a walk in the evening should get me off to a promising start. I’m going to be starting myself off on my PGX and daily multivitamin, and bumping myself up to 2L of water a day. I will be unable to get off the coffee, but instead of eliminating it altogether, I’m going to try to switch it up for tea more often and then reward myself with a latte or something every once and a while.

Memo to me: grab a notebook to use for a food diary when downtown later. I was watching the Dr. Oz show and he did a segment on binge eating. Keeping track of what you eat and how you feel while you eat is supposed to help break you out of the binging habit, so I’m going to give it a go.

I finally got my monroe piercing done (I got it done this last Tuesday). This makes for piercing #26. This one certainly feels different than my madonna did. Even now, three days later, it’s very tender and swollen. All of the usual tricks that I used for previous piercings have failed, and I’m not sure what to do. It’s not infected as far as I can tell, and it isn’t bleeding, but the swelling is a little on the excessive side and it has me concerned. I look in the mirror and it looks like I’ve been punched, or have had some surgery under my lip. I’m starting to think that maybe it wasn’t such a good idea. The benefits I get certainly outweigh the negatives, but in the mean time my body is really hating me for this.

Once this heals, I’ve decided no more piercings for a while. I took the picture with my cell phone, so forgive it’s poor quality. And the shadow in the picture is not me pursing my lips (like everyone seems to think), it’s my phone. My phone is wide and almost every picture I take… there’s a shadow in it somewhere. If there’s no shadow, it blurs. *rolls eyes*

Hopefully I’ll have the Black Bird fanlisting up in a couple days… I also might open a button exchange. Haven’t decided on the latter yet, though.

If anyone reading this knows of blogging script that is similar to FanUpdate, please let me know. I’m going to go absolutely insane and pull out all of my hair.

So, I got the job at Wal-Mart after all. The job that I was offered was graveyard food stocking, and I was so exuberant that I just snatched it up. I’m going to be starting out with 37.5 hours per week, and a fairly decent wage. I get to keep my piercings, I don’t have to hide my tattoos, and after a year, I get two weeks of paid vacation. I’m really excited for this job. :D  I just have to wait for my criminal record check to come back, and then they’ll telephone me with the day I start. I don’t know what I was worried about… the entire process was a breeze, and everyone was extremely nice to me. I met my manager (there was like… seven or eight managers) and some of the people I’m going to be working with, and they’re friendly. I managed to wrangle up a lot of comments about my tattoo… which I was not expecting. I have yet to have anyone say anything negative about it (besides Kaylie – but her opinion doesn’t count). Hopefully everything goes well; I have really high hopes for this.

The next couple days are going to be slow and quiet. Which is a welcome change from the usual chaos at my house. Tuesday I’m going in to get my monroe piercing, to mirror my madonna. I also have to go shopping and get some winter provisions. The weather here has done a complete 180 and it’s pleasantly crisp and chilly out. It actually rained today, too, so that was pretty great. I need to get some better shoes and a new coat. Thankfully I have that $25 gift certificate from Pennington’s that I can use. I’ll post pictures of whatever outfits that I by. As well as my new piercing.

Well, I think I’m going to head off to bed. Expect great changes in this site, very soon.

Good news is though… I was approved to own the Black Bird fanlisting. I’m really excited about this, considering this is my favourite manga right now. I’ve already got the layout and some of the content made, and now I’m just waiting for the permission to use some things and I’ll have that up and running. I haven’t owned any fanlistings in a long, long time, so we’ll see how I do. I’m pretty happy that I was approved for this. Black Bird is a beautiful story, so for anyone who loves a good romance with demons and such, check it out. Also, I have finally opened up the Filth clique, so if you’re a fan of Dani Filth or Cradle of Filth, please join. It’s in dire need of members.

I’m in dire need of some caffeine. If it weren’t so late (or early – I guess) I would grind up some beans and indulge in a pot, but Sarah is sleeping and I don’t want to wake her. Considering she’s got school and whatnot. I think I might have already woken her up already once though, when I let Tamara in. Ooooops. LOL.

Lots of drama going on around the house… which is a constant headache. My darling baby girl, Elizabeth Bathory, ran away. Brian, being the super intelligent wad of douchebag that he is, left the basement door open and she escaped. That was three days ago. She hasn’t returned home yet, and we’ve been routinely scouring the neighbourhood for her… but at this point, my hope is faltering. There’s also some other things going on, but I’m thinking that if I feel like talking about that, I’ll make the entry password protected. Who knows.