The last few nights, I’ve been feeling horrible. I’ve been coughing, getting sick and running a bit of a fever. My chest feels like someone has me in a constant bear hug… either that, or my lungs refuse to expand to allow me to take in air. Last night at work, my support manager Julie heard me cough once, and sent me home. When I got home, it got so bad that I actually coughed so hard I blacked out, and hit my head off of the counter. Today, Kaylie basically forced me into the car, and took me up to the ER.

Turns out, I have H1N1.

The doctor told me that the reason that my chest feels the way it does, is because the virus has constricted my air ways. He prescribed me an inhaler, and it’s helped. I’m not allowed to work for 10 days, as a cautionary measure, and if my breathing gets any worse, I have to go back to the hospital.

I can deal with this. No problem. The only thing that I’m having issues with is the muscle aches. I can’t really do… well, anything at all, before my muscles give out. I was putting my sweater on this morning before I left for the hospital, and my shoulders just gave out. I almost collapsed, and the Robaxecet isn’t helping at all. I ache, and it sucks. I can’t really do anything but sit around. Even typing this, I have to prop my arms up, or they’re just all limp and useless.

I can’t wait until this ordeal is over. How I even got this stupid virus, I don’t know. When I get paid on Friday, I have to get tons of Lysol and disinfect my house. Going through this once is enough for an entire life time. Ugh.

I really have been horrible about keeping this updated. My new job, and adjusting to my graveyard hours has consumed my days as of late. The strive for balance is a very trying ordeal and one that I’m greatly struggling with. Me, being me, assumed that the transition back into the work force was going to go smoothly and without a hitch, and I was greatly mistaken. My home time consists of sleeping, getting ready to go to sleep, or getting ready to go to work. When I get home, I’m so exhausted that doing anything that actually requires real functioning of my brain is just… completely out of the question.

I’m really trying to make the adjustment, though. Hopefully it gets easier and it just goes uphill from here.

The one real bonus in all of my work misery is that my prediction came true. My pants are falling off my hips. I don’t wheeze anymore, and I actually have energy to go out and do things on my days off. I feel comfortable enough to go around in regular clothes, without wearing over-sized hoodies to hide myself. It’s a liberation that I haven’t felt in almost two years. I have a long way to go still, but I feel the first twinges of success, and it’s a good feeling.

Things are definitely looking up. I got my copy of Black Bird, Volume II, and now I’m just… so inspired when it comes to the fanlisting. I’m been looking ahead at future volumes on Amazon, and it looks like Viz Media is going to be releasing a new volume about every three months. I am… so happy about this. I really wish another of my favourite mangas, Shinobi Life, could have been licensed by Viz Media. Instead of every three months, I get a volume maybe every year? Tokyo Pop is so slow. But… alas, I digress. Hopefully I’ll have a lot of new content and a new layout up (that one is a maybe – I’ve been having problems with PSP9) by Wednesday of next week.

And speaking of online stuff… I renewed my web hosting for the site, as well as my domain name… so that’s out of the way. Hopefully once I get into a routine of some sort, I’ll have time to re-do the Filth Clique (which has no new members – I’m sad about that), and possibly make a button exchange. Which is an idea I’ve been toying with for a while.

Ugh. I should be in bed already. :?  David needs to hurry back with my Subway, so I can eat and go to bed.

I’ll blog again in the next few days, I think.